If You're Reading This
by Orokid
Summary: While mourning, a letter arrives, pertaining her lover's thoughts before death.


**Orokid**: _This… was something that ended up being written after listening to a song with the same title, sung by Tim McGraw. It's kind of sad, I admit, and the only warnings I'll give is that there is a character death that happens before the story itself starts, and that it may cause a character to act oddly to how she may usually . A part of me feels a tad uneasy about this, but… eh. I wrote it, so it's going up. Haha._

**Disclaimer**: _I don't own anything that has to do with Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, nor the anime and manga that it was based upon. In reality, I own nothing. I just like writing stories based upon characters I don't own for my own fun, and I don't get any money off of what I do or write._

**If You're Reading This…**

Minako held the tri-folded paper tightly within her grip, trying her best not to crinkle it, not wanting to stain the beautifully scripted words before her with her grasp or tears. It had come in from the mail, a reminder of the one whom had left her side once and for all, written by the same hand she had once held in secret within crowds of people- the hand that she'd never feel again. It was a pain within her heart, a sensation that felt like she was dying while living, as her dark eyes scanned over the pen-marked page, biting upon her lower lip so to keep herself from crying.

Her lover, her wife, had been taken from her while on a trip to the States, hoping to further their joint dream to endorse a better relationship between their governments and the hot topic of homosexuality. Minako had barely allowed her to go at the time, not wanting to part from her during such a time in their lives, but had begrudgingly agreed after one of their many arguments had ensued. She had to go, had to be there for that slim chance that Americans could see the right hand of Japan's Prime Minister living a life with a family without the pressures of society bringing her down. All of that had been taken away once a man decided to raise arms against the young woman, gunning her down without knowing anything more than the fact that she loved another woman. Everything seemed a surprise, something no one could have foreseen.

And yet there was a letter in her hands, dated the day before her lover had been murdered in cold blood. She knew she should be surprised, knew that the former miko could se the future at times due to her power caused by the spirit Mars, yet the tears couldn't help but spring to her eyes at the sight of the beautiful kanji. The funeral was to happen in the next day… and here was her last chance of ever knowing what was on the woman's mind before… before her flame had been extinguished once and for all by the hate of one who could never understand.

_If you're reading this, our friends are there, offering what condolences they can to you, mourning for me much like we had for you back then. I didn't know when I gave you that kiss goodbye at the airport that it would be the last- I would have kissed you more, held you in my arms tighter, held your hand more… I had so many regrets now- some old, some new. Even now, I wish that I could have told you sooner how I felt for you, even though I didn't even understand it then. I wish I hadn't let you go off so often to your idol life without begging you to stay as much as I had always wanted to. I wish… I wish this wasn't goodbye, and that the tears of the princess could reincarnate me once again after I'll fall, but I know what my chances are. I'm not Mamoru, nor as important, and your tears will do nothing more than give reason to new music that I know you'll sing so beautifully that the audience will weep as I wish to now, wanting to brush away the ones that will fall._

_My biggest regret, I admit, will be that I won't be there at your side when our daughter is brought in the world. I hope she looks like you- your rabid fan girls would scream if she did. Still… I hope she'll be as strong as I oftentimes pretended to be, and that she'll stand up for the future, for the innocents, as we were always meant to as both mars and Venus. She'll be kind- and I can't help but hope she'll drive you as crazy as you did with me at times. You'll be a wonderful mother to her, Minako, more than I ever could have been- and I know you'll raise her right, as well as you see fit. She'll be a daughter we've always wanted, and you'll be the best family she'll ever ask for._

_If you could, please tell my father that I never once regretted following him into politics, even if I had once named him as my mother's betrayer because of it. It gave me reason, much as you gave me life and love, and I am indebted to his kind words each time a reporter sought to bright our relationship down._

_If or when the day comes, and I know it will, there will be a moment in the future when you'll move on and find something else who can love you as you should have always been. I'll be in a better place, and I'll always be watching over both you and our little girl no matter what choices will be made within your lives. I will always support you and whatever romance that comes your way, and I will with all the love in my heart and soul. Know my spirit is where you've always prayed it would go, and that your God, Buddha and I are here for you when you need us. I just want you to be happy, Minako, even if it seems hard for you to be right now._

_Lastly, Mina, if you're reading this, please know this- I am home. I'll wait for you a million years to come to me, more if I have to, and I'll love you still each step of the way. Remember that always. Tell our little one that I loved her always without knowing her, and that she's lucky to have you to herself as I always used to wish to._

_With everlasting love,_

_Mars Reiko, Rei Hino_

Minako moved a hand to cover her mouth, using her fingers to wipe the streams of hurt, pain and lost that went down her cheeks. So many words, thoughts, cramped onto a page that sometimes didn't quite fit with all her wishes, hopes and regrets, nor made complete and total sense at times. Slowly, the hand which held the letter, moved to press lightly against her stomach, feeling the slow movements of the child that was within her womb. At that, a few more tears could only fall, knowing that their child would never know the woman that was it's other mother. It was an ache she doubted would ever be healed, a scar on her heart that others may never see completely.

A part of her wanted to curl up and die, although she knew that was the last thing she could do. Besides, it wasn't what her lover had wanted of her, and their child would need her completely eventually. The letter had told her that, even if it had been written just so.

Inhaling deeply, the woman folded up the paper as it had come, folding it once more into a smaller rectangle before placing it within her black shirt, right above her heart. Wiping the tears once more from her cheeks, the former teen idol moved to give tight hugs to her friends, needing them more than they'd ever know right then. At her neck, she could feel a warm sensation, almost as if her lost partner had pressed her lips to the skin, and she merely smiled as tears fell again.

For now, there in the multiple embrace of friends and family, in the near future that was yet to come, was the home she was to be in- a home with their child and the memories that would more than likely shape her music.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Orokid**: _Well, how is it? I know it's a little awkward. But I'm still trying to remain positive about it. That aside… well, I'm curious how I did, since it was something I haven't done in a while- aka write. Haha. If you feel the need to review, please do! I'm excited and waiting to hear your thoughts, reader, and I can't wait- no matter what you'll say. There's always room to improve, I admit, so I know I need to work on some things. But if you say that it's great and doesn't need any changes, then awesome. Whatever you feel like. ^^_


End file.
